I feel guilty I feel guilty so I'm going to blog a bit, since I'm too lazy to actually put the time and effort into blogging. I keep putting my foot in my mouth when I say I'm going to blog, but I never do. A lot of people do, but I'm sure it's more for the intrinsic worth than to run on about what other people are not interested in. Also, I can't write whatever I want on here because SHOCKER I actually have some secrets. Not many, but a precious few.

Hmm, orientation today. Quite uneventful, but I don't know if I should apply for the graduate program the coming year. I mean, I have plenty of time, but I'm kind of scared since I'm moving so fast. I'd really like to take a year off but my mom is having none of it, but she doesn't get that this is really what I'd like to do and so what if I want to double major. But yeah, she went ballistic when she thought I was going to go into Cinema, which is frankly quite interesting but I'm not creative enough to succeed in that field- but when she criticizes me like that I feel like I should just major in Cinema out of spite. It's like that all the time. She accuses me of something I don't do, but I do it because she just doesn't believe me and I'd like to prove her wrong.

Another subject. My Lord, I hate social networking. Well, I don't. Twitter is amazing. You couldn't believe the things you could do with such a simplistic yet elegantly constructed idea.

The thing about social networking is that it can be so blasted pervasive. You continually check on - admit it - one person's facebook (I do.)...stalking, if you will, and it can be so bloody convenient but at the same time, it really encroaches on that person's privacy. Like I really could give a damn, but I really wish that people wouldn't freely display aspects of themselves on their profiles so freely. Maybe my complaint is derived from a deeper problem...I have some issues I have to deal with. I know that I'm in denial, but just going on with life and trying to construct a life by skirting the edges of your problem wasn't going to be much help anyway. But denial is the only way I can cope. Also a healthy dose of work and school, in my case, school but I have a feeling it's going to be very mundane this semester. But I'm looking forward to a blank state. Where I'm not happy or unhappy. I hate the seesaw of crazed happiness and depressive gloom that I get when I have too much time on my hands and the summer sunlight can really accentuate your moods either way.

Also, I'm having trouble sleeping. I need a nicely portioned bit of alcohol to knock me out. I hope this isn't a sign of...well, my needing more help. But there you go. I'll probably need it again tonight.  ¶ 7:32 PM